Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Weird Locker Room Encounter and a cry for help that you can answer.


I was in the locker room the other day, getting ready to go swimming. There was a guy standing in front of my locker. His back was to me. He was furiously pecking at his blackberry. I managed to squeeze in (to the space in front of my locker). As I opened the door, it sort of woke him up from his typing.

"Stupid f#$cking people. I am so sick of this shit. I am trying to sell my coach on ebay and these assholes keep wasting my time. They involve me in these long conversations and then they say, 'I better ask my wife if I can buy this!' Grow a set!" The guy was shaking mad.

Well, what else could I say but, "Heh. You know people. They will be people. That's too bad." WTF? This guy was very worked up, and I, by this point, was almost naked.

"Are you a liberal or a conservative?" he asked while still typing on his blackberry. I was now stepping into my swim suit.

"What? Are you asking me, or are you typing that in your blackberry?"

"I'm asking YOU. Are YOU a liberal or a conservative?"

I replied, "I guess I am into common sense."

"Good." was his response, "Here I want you to have these." And he handed me a stack of these stickers.


"Put these on all the air dryers in restrooms."

I studied these stickers for a moment and then I asked, "Is this about President Bush?"

He stopped typing. His face got really red and he stared at me. "No! This is about Obama! Every time he uses a teleprompter, 20,000 small businesses close their doors!"

Okay.

Back to typing. "Do you think I should put something on the ebay ad that tells these gutless wonders to talk to their wives before they call me?" I said, "Sure."

Then I went and swam my mile. As I did, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of person unloads on a total stranger in a locker room like that and then asks their political leanings? I think the answer is that a person like this is called "the base" of a certain political party.

In the end, I wondered, How can I help this poor, lost, and possibly violent soul out? I think I have the answer. Thanks to A.J., I have the link for this guy's ebay ad for his motorhome (coach). It is a steal at just over $100,000. If you are interested, or just want to shoot the breeze with this guy, why not email him or give him a call. BUT PLEASE DO NOT, I REPEAT- DO NOT - MENTION THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO ASK YOUR WIFE ABOUT WHETHER YOU CAN BUY THIS OR NOT. This really seems to set him off and it would be a shame to cause him any more stress. Here is his ebay ad. I hope you can help him out. Maybe a couple of us can go in on buying it together.

3 comments:

Hank said...

MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

Jacque Hendrix said...

So if you press the button the President will smell bacon?

ilovehomophones said...

so, when i read this the feminist in me thought, "i should tell him i need to check with my husband." but then the snarky feminist in me thought, "it might be better to tell him i need to check with my wife." i think we'll get an off-the-meter reaction from him. what time are you at the gym?