Respect is universal...

Are more people texting/talking on their cell phones than before we made it a secondary offense?

Was out running this morning and witnessed a Suburban slowly weaving its way down the street. As it passed (extremely closely) I noticed the driver was typing away on her cell phone. I can only imagine the gravity and sagacity of the text "conversation":

What R U doing
I M driving
Me 2
LOL
LOL

Look around next time you're on the streets. It seems as if more drivers are texting and talking than aren't. The current wimpy cell phone law has had no effect.


I must admit the texting thing pisses me off anyway. Ignore the people around you. Ignore what is presently going on, so you can carry on an inane "conversation" with another bored person. That's bullshit. It's especially cool when you are at the movie theater and someone in front of you basically shines a flashlight in your eyes by texting on their beacon of a phone.

I guess it's the purposeful disconnection from the surrounding environment and those around them that texters pursue that really sets me off - all the more so when they are hurtling down the road in their steel behemoths. All I have to defend myself from their distractedness and disconnectedness is my running shoes or bicycle pump.

Which brings me to my proposal. I know the state is considering making these driving infractions a primary offense. Spokane should get a jump on it and make it a primary offense in the city right now. A $500 fine for texting while driving. A $200 fine for talking into a cellphone while driving. Cha ching!!

The red light cameras could go to work on this right away.

How about bounty hunting? Pedestrians, passengers and cyclists could take pictures of drivers texting/talking on their phones and turn them in. Split the ticket down the middle. Half goes to the bounty hunter. The other half to the city. People with windows tinted so darkly that you can't see what they are doing would be presumed guilty. I thought these windows were against the law anyway.


Send your pictures to me. I will post them here. If nothing else, it should make for some interesting art.

Taking these pictures isn't as easy as it looks. I was really slow on the draw for this one which would have been cool because it was a big corporate delivery truck:


On the hunt, you see many texters at work behind the wheel, but it's harder to photograph them usually. It's almost like they know what they are doing is wrong and so they are much more furtive in their behavior.

What do you think? Would this be a cool thing to promote or is it kind of an Orwellian affront?

Zombie Night Out and the Miracle of Cycling!

My high school friends and college roommates, Lance, Rich and I went to the original Dawn of the Dead movie in 1978. A few years ago there was a remake. I thought about how it would be a lot of fun to have a reunion of sorts around this zombie redux.

Rich and I have had our share of reunions. Aside from high school and college graduations. We've had USAF OTS and Spokane/Spokane Valley Firefighter Recruit School graduations. Rich and I have led lives that have, at times, mirrored each other. Lance, on the other hand is much more elusive. Here is a picture taken in 2004 or 2005 right before we saw the remake of Dawn of the Dead, which was not as good as the original. I have never been one to go in for zombies that sprint or do more than shuffle. I mean WTF, they're dead already. That's Lance in the middle. Rich is on the left and I'm on the right striking zombieish poses.


Well, here's the picture from the night before last when we saw ZombieLand at the Garland. Yes, in this movie the zombies are a little too fast at times for my liking, but live and yet live and yet live again is my new motto. Lance is still in the middle. Rich and I have switched sides.

Lance lost a ton of weight. Between photos, he had gotten even heavier than the first picture. At our 30th high school reunion in 2008, Lance had dumped much of the weight. How?

He did it by changing one thing in his life. His bicycle became his primary vehicle. No dieting. No workout regimen other than how he gets from Point A to Point B. Although he does enjoy cycling so much he participates in a lot of just-for-fun rides too.

Lance told me that bicycling saved his life. I believe him. He, like I, acknowledge that it is the most fun way to get anywhere. Like all of us, he has had his share of close calls, once getting clocked in the head by an RV's mirror.

Lance is also a pied-piper of cycling. He has gifted many people with bicycles and has organized rides for others.

When we were kids, Lance was the ultimate motorhead. He could tell you the part number for just about any oil filter and could rebuild any motor. His high school ride was a '41 Chevy. Today, he shuns cars as much as possible and acknowledges that the bicycle is probably the greatest invention and cars close to the worst. Maybe I am putting words in Lance's mouth, but I think he would say something like that.

Let your bicycle be your inoculation against the Zombie Disease gripping our nation. Perhaps you know this sickness better by its scientific name - automobile centric lifestyle syndrome.

Palouser?

Just finished reading The Big Burn by Timothy Egan. A great read. All the action takes place within about a hundred miles of Spokane. I can't get enough of books like these, ones that chronicle a historic event with good characterizations. When you read about the political temperament of the early 20th century, you realize that the same battles are being fought today by the same characters. Although, it seems the citizenry was much more engaged at the time and weren't so easily buffaloed. This morning's article detailing the GOP's attempt to "protect" Obama by condemning Harry Reid because of a racist remark he made years ago comes to mind. Pathetic. Republican attempts at this kind of shameless chicanery were met with scorn and ridicule in the aftermath of the fire of 1910 by the press, by the people and at the ballot box.

I have a lot of local exploring to do this summer, thanks to this book. One thing though. The author talks about how we in eastern Washington refer to a wind blowing from the Palouse as a "Palouser." I had never heard of "palouser." Talking to others, no one else has either. Have you ever heard this word before? Pal Louser? Puh Loser? P'Looser?

I read In Pharoah's Army a few weeks ago and the author claimed that during the Vietnam War he watched The Gong Show. Only if he had a time machine, I think. When I read things like the Palouser and the TV reference, it makes my undiagnosed OCD really flare.

Christmas tree goes off. Nail goes in.

An out-of-focus picture of what I picked up on Broadway and Monroe about 7 am Saturday morning. Luckily, I had removed the Christmas tree from the Xtracycle which made pushing easier. I was a little conflicted when this happened. Do I patch the tube here or do I wait until I get to work? In the dark I didn't know I had picked up a nail, so I tried pumping air into the tube. Understandably, no luck with that, so I walked the last mile or so to work. This turned out to be the right decision.

The tube was pretty new. I sprung for a heavier model with Slime in it. I thought this might be a good idea, as weight is no object for this behemoth of a bike. Understandably, the Slime was no match for the nail. After I patched it and fired up the air compressor to inflate the tube, I found there were a few more holes on the roadside of the tube. The hubside wasn't looking too hot either. Under pressure, the green Slime was flying like an ectoplasmic fountain.

I had a spare tube and some duct tape, so I made it home fine. I think it's time to get a new tire.

Happy New Year!

Sarah was running the day before yesterday and spotted a bald eagle soaring above High Drive. Yesterday, we went for a run and tried to go swimming on the loop back home, but the pool was full. So, instead we walked around Downtown, stopped at Merlyn's to say hello to John Waite and then walked home. Last night we had a great time at our neighbor's house, ringing in the new year.

Spokane is a great place. You can go for a walk and see a bald eagle, coyote, deer or moose and continue on the path for a movie or a great meal. If you stumble on the trail, you can provide a great meal for the fauna.

I am going to do something in 2010 with this photo I snapped in 2009:


I am not sure what, yet. I printed up t-shirts some years ago with this design:

At the time, the Tradewind's pool was full of shopping carts, debris and life aquatic. Sarah and I sometimes fantasize about the Tradewinds being a cool retro tiki kinda place to stay. Molly's across the street would make a fine tiki bar/restaurant too.

The old Tradewinds on N Division sports little in the way of Polynesia anymore. The Downtown Tradewinds sign and logo will probably go the way of the Downtowner's someday. Which is a shame. Here is a link to the Flickr page where I found this image. The photographer has done a great job capturing Spokane's disappearing signage.

At Fred Meyer's: A plastic box for your plastic wreath...

Actually it's made of sterilite.

No I didn't see a bigger box to put all your boxed wreaths into. I guess all wreaths are now standardized in radius. Probably metric. New world order.

Fred Meyer's is a place that never fails to give me the heebeegeebees.

The place we are now in crap that should never be made, but is because Chinese slaves work cheap and we have credit cards, is a place that is beyond parody.

Spokanarama drops Tiger Woods as spokesman!

This was a very difficult decision.

According to the latest CNN headline, Accenture has opted to drop Tiger Woods as their spokesman. I always look to Accenture for the latest trends in whatever it is that they do, so we were forced to follow suit.

Sorry Tiger. Personally, I like your style and Lord knows if I had your money... But what about the children who read Spokanarama? What about the golfers who never stray, yet read Spokanarama? And the pole dancers? What about them?

Initially, I thought Accenture was some sort of denture paste with a zesty flavor, but it's actually a management consulting group. In other words, I still don't know what it is that they do.

In closing, What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Sights while pedaling home this morning...

For some reason, inflatable lawn decorations never seem right, or remotely interesting, until they are deflated. And when there's more than one or two, this rule seems more solid.

Did Santa hang this elf on the marquee of his workshop as a warning to other elves? I am not sure what this elf did to warrant this penalty. Did he not want to make toys? Maybe he wanted to be a dentist. Obviously a misfit.

Notice the plumes of smoke in the background? That's right - the entire city was on fire this morning. Well, at least that's what some folks thought yesterday - a lot. Imagine, steam coming from dryer vents, steam vents and even out of a laundromat/drycleaner/steam cleaning business.

How strange.

The river was also on fire - all day - yesterday, but we never had to respond to that. Maybe Dispatch filtered those calls out for us.

Maybe it's time for a public service announcement or something from the "news" media. I saw on the "news" this morning, that when it gets cold, water "freezes." This process actually firms water and you can see the process in lakes and ponds. So, maybe something from the media about steam being more visible when it's cold would not be so far-fetched.

Christmas Trees of Elegance - Pretty up front with the true meaning of Christmas!

This event at the Davenport Hotel has been a long-standing favorite for me and my family.

I don't think I've bought a lottery ticket in 10 years. I don't enter contests. But there's something about this event that makes me spend money like a drunken sailor on Christmas shore leave at Santa's Compound with a couple of hot elf chicks on each arm.

Sarah says the best thing about this event is that you can support the symphony without the hassle of going to the symphony. Perhaps that is a Christmas lesson in itself.



Money - the albino owl wishes everyone a Merry Christmas from this tastefully appointed tree. Looks like she has quite the nest egg.

War continues to subvert the dominant paradigm...

A trip to the dollar store, zip ties, safety wire, duct tape, coroplast signs and bungee chords - so far, a great kick off to the holiday season.

I think I have been to a dollar store maybe twice - until last week. Went to the one by Hastings on 29th - no made-in-China $5 trees. Sarah suggested the store on Ray on 14th or 15th. What a place. When you walk in, the depression envelopes you like a blanket of doom. Every third florescent light is burned out. Christmas music softly drifts - the tape player's timing is just a little off. The place is empty. Crushed boxes of trees made from the finest Chinese plastic detritus are neatly stacked. Checkers stand silent at their posts - staring blankly ahead. The perfect place to outfit the latest XtraCycle adventure. This setup is going to look great in July. The bungee chords give the tree just the right, in kilt parlance, "sway."

The Monkeylectric front wheel light is everything I thought it would be.

Last week's Fresh Abundance Delivery!

I don't know why but last week's delivery from Fresh Abundance seemed extremely picturesque.

In other news, I decided to put the Monkey Lectric Wheel lighting system on the XtraCycle. I had Sarah peddle it around tonight to see how it looked. It was amazing!

Have you ever seen the movie Killer Klowns from Outer Space? It was like that. It should cause a few car accidents and an epileptic seizure or two on my way to work. It's that good.

This and that....

Sarah and I ran the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. Ike ran with his LC X-Country pals. What a huge crowd. The Turkey Trot, as always and as the kids say, "is what it is." It's a real slow, but fun, jog - dogs connected to their masters with 50-foot leashes, triple-wide strollers and families holding hands. Yet, I think it's the closest thing to a lovefest running experience in Spokane. You can't be serious about how you are going to perform, just kick back and enjoy the show. It's a great way to start Thanksgiving Day too. Thankful for friends, family, health, clean air and the beauty of a throng of humanity. Thankful to live in Spokane!

The Food Bank does really well at this event. Which reminds me, a friend of mine volunteers at Second Harvest. He drives one of their trucks to pick up canned goods at donation sites. I went with him a week or so ago to help. It was nice to see all the food that people have dropped off at really diverse locations. At the medical marijuana place, the barrels were overflowing (you can insert your own remark here).

I had never been in the Second Harvest facility before. It is huge. It is organized. It is incredible, a beehive of precise forklift-whirling precision. And when all was said and done, it dawned on me that the food pickup we accomplished was (even though it packed the truck) not even a drop in the bucket of what the food bank does. Also, what we just did was really an inefficient way to do business - drop off a can of 69 cent peas - have truck deliver peas to warehouse. My friend told me that for every dollar you give the food bank, they can buy three dollars worth of food. This is a much better way to go. So, if you can spare a little money, why not cut a check for Second Harvest? One dollar turns into 6 pounds of food.

Had to work Friday and met some very nice people from New England, one of whom needed some help. They really liked Spokane - even when viewed from the back of an ambulance, with me jamming a needle in one of their arms. Saturday was kind of a lazy day - I only had to get up twice the night before. I have my list of things to accomplish today.

Received my MonkeyLectric lighting system yesterday. I haven't decided which bike to put it on yet.

The museum of local fauna - a fine crypto/factual mix...

Over the past few years, we have noticed that most folks have an affinity for three subjects for the art in their homes:

1. Dolphins
2. Unicorns
3. Dream catchers

Pretty much in this order. Some have unicorns and pegasuses? pegasi? One fellow had a unicorn with wings. I asked him about this. He seemed embarrassed and said, "Look, I know unicorns don't have wings and a pegasus does not have a horn. We call this one a 'unipeg.'" He then showed me his tattoo of a unicorn sparring with a pegasus. When you think about it, who would win? I am sure that someone has ran the odds.

So, over the last year or so, a museum of sorts has sprung up on our counter in the office:


A couple of months ago, two ladies wandered into the station via the open apparatus bay door. I was in the office working on reports. One of the ladies inquired, "I know it's past five-o-clock, but can we still get $50 of gasoline for free?" I was a bit perplexed. "Ma'am, you know this is a fire station, right?"

She replied that she had heard that the fire station by the Conoco was giving away free gas. I suggested that maybe what the person who told her this really meant was that the Conoco by the fire station was giving away free gasoline.

Her looked conveyed that she thought I was kind of dense - a dummy. All that changed when she saw the display on the counter. She said it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. Gasoline, shmasoline, she thought we were all pretty cool now. At least that's what she said to her friend.

Of course, there have been attempts to bridge the gap between the dolphin and unicorn with the venerable narwhal:



But no one really cares. For the most part, you're either pro-dolphin or pro-unicorn. Oh, apparently "nowledge" is not a misspelling:

NARWHAL - Sounds like a code we should all live by.

A very warm snow falls upon the South Hill...

Big Cheryl-Anne ad in this morning's paper!

Click the picture to read. The writing sounds vaguely familiar. Hmmmm.

If you would like to see Ms. Milsap's auto reviews (always in terms of old boyfriends, things her mom has told her, clothing she likes to wear and food she likes to eat) click here.

OK, truth be told, you have to hand it to Cheryl-Anne. She's made a living as a writer in Spokane - not an easy task. She has talent, and a lot of determination. But Cheryl, here's some advice, and you can take it for what it's worth.

Many of us in this city and world have led some varied and interesting lives - employment, recreation, education, lifestyle - the whole enchilada, and I don't think even President Obama, Sir Francis Drake, Lou Ferrigno or Mary Verner could mine as much interior reflective stuff to write about than you have. I think that takes talent to a degree. However, I think this goldmine might be about played out.

When Teresa Herriman was Don Adair's counterpart in the Saturday SR auto extravaganza, she actually presented some useful information about the car - most of it geared around what some might view as how this car would benefit the average mom and wife. Remember the grocery sack rating? When you read her stuff, you felt like she actually did some research, some driving. I always felt like a lot of work went into her column and there was actual information in the ink. Don recently has had to do some heavy lifting to tell us facts about the cars tested.

OK. Here's my advice. Other women drive the cars that you are test driving. The dealers can help you locate them. Ask them to tell their stories about their lives and their cars. You write it. Shift the focus to others. You are a good writer. You can do this. Coordinate with Don. What aspects of this car would be good for you to cover as opposed to him? Women and men want facts about cars. Women and men want to hear stories about others too - lots of others.

I am thinking back to your days writing the society column on the back page. When you had to write about something aside from how you felt or looked, it kind of sounded like you were forced to recite a laundry list of facts that really didn't interest you. If you take my advice, try to avoid this in the auto page.

I know you can do this. You will meet some nice people and tell some great stories. Better yet, you will actually be a reporter, a vanishing species at the SR.

Good luck and best wishes.

Oh Spokesman-Review!

OK, I am always a little punchy the morning I get off of work. Perusing the Spokesman-Review can be a surreal experience as I misread headlines and see fuzzy conspiracies unfold in every column. Then the coffee kicks in and I am OK.

So it was this morning. The headline above made me think that Amber Waldref and Jon Snyder were going to form some sort of coalition with Nancy McLaughlin. That would be some of the strangest political bedfellowing ever.

That Nancy McLaughlin! She really is a favorite of our newspaper. I am sorry Karen didn't beat Nancy.

In my district, I voted for Jon Snyder, but Mike Allen - his opponent wasn't a bad councilman. I wish Snyder was in McLaughlin's district. I think he would have won that race and struck a blow for those of us who aren't overly concerned about a UN takeover of Spokane and other Limbaugh-esque McLaughlin talking points.

The Fire Bond is failing. So far, it only has 59% of the vote. Somebody please explain to me how it is that 41% of the voters override the 59%. Bizarre. This super majority issue only applies when a government asks for more money. If dipshits want to strangle government, all they need is a simple majority - 50% plus one. I don't think this disparity is a particularly good thing for democracy.

However, it was good enough to kick Tim Eyman's ass and his I-1033 he rode in on. Maybe this is a good thing for Timmy, in that more numbskulls will now sign other petitions of his and he will soak other antigovernment organizations to pay him to do it. I am hoping that when they decide to release the names of signers of the anti-gay rights petition, we will seek the names of those who sign ALL petitions.

Speaking of rights for all, R-71 is on the verge of passing - very narrowly. It was predicted to easily pass, just like Eyman's I-1033. It is amazing what can happen in the last couple weeks of a campaign. Lots of work went in to defeating I-1033. Those who wanted to deny rights to people in our community also did a lot of work in their efforts in a close attempt to defeat R-71. Former councilman Dean Lynch had an excellent letter to the editor last week highlighting the Russian Baptist Church's work in trying to defeat this measure. Dean pointed out the irony that they left a country because supposedly they were being denied rights and now they were working hard to do the same here.

The best election result was the thorough trouncing of Eyman's buddy Mike Fagan by Amber Waldref! This Sierra Club/Lands Council member won in a landslide in a very Republican district. As the Republicans cater more and more to what they think is their base - the loons, look for the base to get smaller and smaller. More Republicans will turn their backs to their party and vote for common sense candidates. These days those are the Dems. Not to say that can't change.

Lastly, Proposition Four, Spokane's proposed "bill of rights," was soundly defeated/nuked/destroyed/obliterated. The overkill that went in to slaughtering this "its-heart-is-in-the-right-place but..." proposal says a lot about how scared the power holders in our city are right now. I like that the campaign to pass Prop 4 turned an eye on the city's comprehensive plan and the continual neglect of that plan, how we will abandon all in order to not alienate the real power holders and the largest reality/perception creator in Spokane - which leads me back to the beginning of my tome!

CONTEST WINNERS!

A TIE!!!!

Amish Smoke Break and...

Amish wax job!

Congrats Tracy Martin and J Blodgett. I will be sending the prizes out to you. I think they will be gift certificates to Atticus Coffee. Thanks everybody!! If you want to see all the entries look at the prior post.

AMISH FIREPLACE MANTLE PHOTOSHOP CONTEST ENTRIES

Cthulhu aquarium


Amish wax job


Amish space heater


Amish Hellfire


Amish Smoke break


Amish Fire Mantle Delivery


Amish liquor cabinet

Sarah will be the judge. She doesn't know who did what (except mine and they are ineligible). Tonight we should know who won, and what they won. Exciting.

In yesterday's SR: Yuppie 911 calls frustrate rescuers...

And all of us at the station said, "That's nothing!" Time to revisit CARTNE:



A city pays for a decent fire department for one main reason - to keep the city from burning down a couple of times each month. Most of the time you won't hear anything about it on the news. It takes a lot of people, training and equipment to keep our infrastructure from going away. All the other things a fire department does is done in between the times that it is not fighting the fire that would spread to other buildings, etc.

It's like having a standing army for a country that gets invaded frequently, and in between invasions the army does other civic duties.

We could be brewing and selling beer for the city, making monastic fruitcakes, etc., but instead we do emergency medical services. It's a great fit. We are located in a bunch of neighborhoods. We have sirens. We operate really well under pressure. We are trainable. But it's amazing the things that people will pick up a phone and call 9-1-1 for - every day.

All to say, Please vote yes for the Fire Bond Levy. For some reason the Spokesman-Review called this a new tax. It isn't. It's a continuation of the old. If you want to know more about it, you can go here. I know that it's a shock that the SR got a story wrong, but...