Almost a hat trick.

Saw this while running yesterday. A pretty good job. He managed to park in a no-parking zone, while at the same time parking on and blocking what passes for a sidewalk, as well. If only he had the foresight and gumption to park about 30 feet to the east, he could have blocked the hydrant, as well. So close.

Well, as Meatloaf once wisely pondered in a musical fashion, "Two out of three ain't bad."

Squished

I am venturing into a realm I haven't been to for almost 20 years. With the 50K River Run approaching, I am slowly getting my mileage up. The past couple of runs, I even took water with me. This is something I have never done before. I stuck a water bottle in a pocket for a 15.5 mile run and then a couple of days ago I carried a bottle inside a fannypack (are they still called that?) for a 17 mile run.

I also carried some "sports gel." The plan was at 9 miles to taste a little of the gel and see how it made me feel. I've used this stuff a couple of times on long bike rides and was pretty amazed.

The bouncing water bottle in the pack kept opening up the pack's zipper and almost escaping. At mile nine, a thorough search proved that the sports gel had been ejected somewhere along the line. Bummer.

But, it did give me something to do on the eight miles home. I kept thinking I had found it. My stomach would feel hopeful, and then, time after time, it turned out to be a cigarette pack wrapper. Thank gawd I am not a smoker. This would have have been a double whammy.

This happened a lot. It was a fun diversion.

When I did find my sustenance, it was squished, and only about two miles from my house.

Luckily it was garbage day, so I was able to throw the pebbly carcass into someone's trashcan.

Yesterday I bought one of those bottle carrier dealios, so we'll see how that goes...

My Brother-in-Law looks like Ulysses S. Grant....

Heritage Funeral Home is where you can find this great picture of a so-so president. Only here on Spokanarama can you find a picture of my great brother-in-law with the picture of the mediocre president.

The first time I went to Heritage Funeral Home it was for their Titanic exhibit. It was a lot of fun. There was even an inflatable Titanic slide where kids skidded down the deck to their simulated icy doom.

Every Memorial Day, Heritage does some kind of odd-ball remembrance and it's great!

This year's offering:

TV and Movie cowboys!!!

Gearing up for our 50th Birthdays!

Sarah and I both celebrate our 50th birthdays this spring. About a year ago, I said something like, "Hey, we should run a 50 mile race for our 50th birthdays," knowing that there were no 50 mile races around here in the spring. Sarah said that was too far, but there was the 50K Spokane River Run in April.

Damn.

So, we've been building up our mileage this winter. Today, I have a 14 mile run planned. I say planned because I usually wind up getting lost in my thoughts, and adding another couple of miles to the run, according to my Garmin Forerunner 305.

This GPS wristwatch is pretty cool because it also tells me what my current pace is. I also have my really old IPod Mini on board. It's dented up and glued together, but still works OK.

I never listen to music when I run, just podcasts. Some favorites are Real Time with Bill Maher, Harry Shearer's Le Show and WTF by Mark Maron. You might remember him from Air America's Morning Sedition.

My absolute favorite podcast is Coast to Coast AM. Some of the stories people call in with are pretty funny, especially when the caller is drunk and he discloses the sad tale of the werewolf/vampire/alien/liberal who stole his fiance. Some of the shows depart from the paranormal and feature famous scientists - experts on astronomy, geology, mathematics, etc. The same callers still call in. This is fun to listen to as callers try to turn a scientific treatise on black holes into a discussion concerning demonic air fresheners, time-traveling telemarketing and machine elves. Priceless.

Here is a good article, my neighbor Brad shared, concerning George Noory the host of Coast to Coast. Everyday people always tell great stories on this show, and Noory continually treats them with respect and kindness. And then there's always UFO Phil.

I hope to get back into the barefoot running after our birthday celebration.

Happy Trails!

First Generation Insulated Windows

It's interesting when you can see how things evolve. These insulated windows are obviously first generation. I think the new ones are even transparent.*

Nonetheless, 2nd Ave Healing Arts is a cool place even in the summer, regardless of their window's R value. So go there, if you need some massaging, rolfing or any other stuff like that there.



* I know.

Back from Florida

Regarding my last post - I am back from astronaut training. Actually, that was the one free day that I had in Florida and I spent it at the Kennedy Space Center. It was $38 to get in. One of the guys really did not want to go there in the first place, so when he found out how much it was going to cost, well it was a great reaction. Then the rest of us really wanted to go. It was the "blood-in-the-water" phenomenon so often observed when you put firefighters together.

We were down there for IAFF ALTS, basically some union training. There were firefighters from all over the USA and Canada. There were a lot of classes, some very good. I saw a lot of this:

Our hotel was across from "Downtown Disney." I got kicked out at 6 am while on a run. The guard told me I couldn't run on "the boardwalk." Here's me right before my ejection:


Downtown Disney is basically a theme park without any rides.

Here are some notes I made my last night there while I wandered around by myself:

A strange place. You have to get bused here unless, like me, your hotel is across the street. Incidentally, there is no crosswalk between the two. It's like if you don't ride the bus or drive your car, your bucking the system. No bike racks.

Orlando, Florida - yet not an orange to be had at DD. Theme restaurants. Theme gift stores, but no theme liquor store. Lots of plastic. A fire would melt the place.

Weathered fiberglass statues of brooms with arms, some carrying buckets, all over in little curbed in areas of green. What is the message here? What was the focus group question that spurred this response? They remind me of the old miniature golf statues in Riverfront Park, making me homesick - geographically and chronologically.

No rides. It's almost like a free taster of Disney World I think. If you like the town, you will love the world.

The place is packed and everyone, including myself, is mesmerized, by the shiny sanitary lights and canned corny blarings. It's like a Mormon burlesque show.

I found myself getting lost but always easily found. It's a preplanned route that makes sure the traveler always stays on the path and never truly wanders astray - a safety maze.

Outside of every restaurant, whether an animatronic dinosaur joint, a tropical jungle cafe, a sternwheel fish place, an upscale Italian eatery, the House of Blues, Planet Hollywood, even McDonald's, all the menus are posted like post mortems. Sometimes they are accompanied by the autopsy photos. Here lies Chicken Strips. Three strips, 14 fries. So lifelike.

Yet, I know there was a time when I would have loved this place. It would have been too expensive for me to eat in any of the restaurants, but everyhing else would have appealed to me. Why? What happened?

Maybe it's because I am alone here now. Half of these people could very well be enjoying themselves in an ironic fashion, chatting up between themselves the goofiness of the whole enterprise, but I don't think so.

It's not real and it's embraced by thousands tonight and that says a lot.

Wow, I just depressed myself. I think I must have been really homesick.

Respect is universal...

Are more people texting/talking on their cell phones than before we made it a secondary offense?

Was out running this morning and witnessed a Suburban slowly weaving its way down the street. As it passed (extremely closely) I noticed the driver was typing away on her cell phone. I can only imagine the gravity and sagacity of the text "conversation":

What R U doing
I M driving
Me 2
LOL
LOL

Look around next time you're on the streets. It seems as if more drivers are texting and talking than aren't. The current wimpy cell phone law has had no effect.


I must admit the texting thing pisses me off anyway. Ignore the people around you. Ignore what is presently going on, so you can carry on an inane "conversation" with another bored person. That's bullshit. It's especially cool when you are at the movie theater and someone in front of you basically shines a flashlight in your eyes by texting on their beacon of a phone.

I guess it's the purposeful disconnection from the surrounding environment and those around them that texters pursue that really sets me off - all the more so when they are hurtling down the road in their steel behemoths. All I have to defend myself from their distractedness and disconnectedness is my running shoes or bicycle pump.

Which brings me to my proposal. I know the state is considering making these driving infractions a primary offense. Spokane should get a jump on it and make it a primary offense in the city right now. A $500 fine for texting while driving. A $200 fine for talking into a cellphone while driving. Cha ching!!

The red light cameras could go to work on this right away.

How about bounty hunting? Pedestrians, passengers and cyclists could take pictures of drivers texting/talking on their phones and turn them in. Split the ticket down the middle. Half goes to the bounty hunter. The other half to the city. People with windows tinted so darkly that you can't see what they are doing would be presumed guilty. I thought these windows were against the law anyway.


Send your pictures to me. I will post them here. If nothing else, it should make for some interesting art.

Taking these pictures isn't as easy as it looks. I was really slow on the draw for this one which would have been cool because it was a big corporate delivery truck:


On the hunt, you see many texters at work behind the wheel, but it's harder to photograph them usually. It's almost like they know what they are doing is wrong and so they are much more furtive in their behavior.

What do you think? Would this be a cool thing to promote or is it kind of an Orwellian affront?

Zombie Night Out and the Miracle of Cycling!

My high school friends and college roommates, Lance, Rich and I went to the original Dawn of the Dead movie in 1978. A few years ago there was a remake. I thought about how it would be a lot of fun to have a reunion of sorts around this zombie redux.

Rich and I have had our share of reunions. Aside from high school and college graduations. We've had USAF OTS and Spokane/Spokane Valley Firefighter Recruit School graduations. Rich and I have led lives that have, at times, mirrored each other. Lance, on the other hand is much more elusive. Here is a picture taken in 2004 or 2005 right before we saw the remake of Dawn of the Dead, which was not as good as the original. I have never been one to go in for zombies that sprint or do more than shuffle. I mean WTF, they're dead already. That's Lance in the middle. Rich is on the left and I'm on the right striking zombieish poses.


Well, here's the picture from the night before last when we saw ZombieLand at the Garland. Yes, in this movie the zombies are a little too fast at times for my liking, but live and yet live and yet live again is my new motto. Lance is still in the middle. Rich and I have switched sides.

Lance lost a ton of weight. Between photos, he had gotten even heavier than the first picture. At our 30th high school reunion in 2008, Lance had dumped much of the weight. How?

He did it by changing one thing in his life. His bicycle became his primary vehicle. No dieting. No workout regimen other than how he gets from Point A to Point B. Although he does enjoy cycling so much he participates in a lot of just-for-fun rides too.

Lance told me that bicycling saved his life. I believe him. He, like I, acknowledge that it is the most fun way to get anywhere. Like all of us, he has had his share of close calls, once getting clocked in the head by an RV's mirror.

Lance is also a pied-piper of cycling. He has gifted many people with bicycles and has organized rides for others.

When we were kids, Lance was the ultimate motorhead. He could tell you the part number for just about any oil filter and could rebuild any motor. His high school ride was a '41 Chevy. Today, he shuns cars as much as possible and acknowledges that the bicycle is probably the greatest invention and cars close to the worst. Maybe I am putting words in Lance's mouth, but I think he would say something like that.

Let your bicycle be your inoculation against the Zombie Disease gripping our nation. Perhaps you know this sickness better by its scientific name - automobile centric lifestyle syndrome.

Palouser?

Just finished reading The Big Burn by Timothy Egan. A great read. All the action takes place within about a hundred miles of Spokane. I can't get enough of books like these, ones that chronicle a historic event with good characterizations. When you read about the political temperament of the early 20th century, you realize that the same battles are being fought today by the same characters. Although, it seems the citizenry was much more engaged at the time and weren't so easily buffaloed. This morning's article detailing the GOP's attempt to "protect" Obama by condemning Harry Reid because of a racist remark he made years ago comes to mind. Pathetic. Republican attempts at this kind of shameless chicanery were met with scorn and ridicule in the aftermath of the fire of 1910 by the press, by the people and at the ballot box.

I have a lot of local exploring to do this summer, thanks to this book. One thing though. The author talks about how we in eastern Washington refer to a wind blowing from the Palouse as a "Palouser." I had never heard of "palouser." Talking to others, no one else has either. Have you ever heard this word before? Pal Louser? Puh Loser? P'Looser?

I read In Pharoah's Army a few weeks ago and the author claimed that during the Vietnam War he watched The Gong Show. Only if he had a time machine, I think. When I read things like the Palouser and the TV reference, it makes my undiagnosed OCD really flare.

Christmas tree goes off. Nail goes in.

An out-of-focus picture of what I picked up on Broadway and Monroe about 7 am Saturday morning. Luckily, I had removed the Christmas tree from the Xtracycle which made pushing easier. I was a little conflicted when this happened. Do I patch the tube here or do I wait until I get to work? In the dark I didn't know I had picked up a nail, so I tried pumping air into the tube. Understandably, no luck with that, so I walked the last mile or so to work. This turned out to be the right decision.

The tube was pretty new. I sprung for a heavier model with Slime in it. I thought this might be a good idea, as weight is no object for this behemoth of a bike. Understandably, the Slime was no match for the nail. After I patched it and fired up the air compressor to inflate the tube, I found there were a few more holes on the roadside of the tube. The hubside wasn't looking too hot either. Under pressure, the green Slime was flying like an ectoplasmic fountain.

I had a spare tube and some duct tape, so I made it home fine. I think it's time to get a new tire.

Happy New Year!

Sarah was running the day before yesterday and spotted a bald eagle soaring above High Drive. Yesterday, we went for a run and tried to go swimming on the loop back home, but the pool was full. So, instead we walked around Downtown, stopped at Merlyn's to say hello to John Waite and then walked home. Last night we had a great time at our neighbor's house, ringing in the new year.

Spokane is a great place. You can go for a walk and see a bald eagle, coyote, deer or moose and continue on the path for a movie or a great meal. If you stumble on the trail, you can provide a great meal for the fauna.

I am going to do something in 2010 with this photo I snapped in 2009:


I am not sure what, yet. I printed up t-shirts some years ago with this design:

At the time, the Tradewind's pool was full of shopping carts, debris and life aquatic. Sarah and I sometimes fantasize about the Tradewinds being a cool retro tiki kinda place to stay. Molly's across the street would make a fine tiki bar/restaurant too.

The old Tradewinds on N Division sports little in the way of Polynesia anymore. The Downtown Tradewinds sign and logo will probably go the way of the Downtowner's someday. Which is a shame. Here is a link to the Flickr page where I found this image. The photographer has done a great job capturing Spokane's disappearing signage.

At Fred Meyer's: A plastic box for your plastic wreath...

Actually it's made of sterilite.

No I didn't see a bigger box to put all your boxed wreaths into. I guess all wreaths are now standardized in radius. Probably metric. New world order.

Fred Meyer's is a place that never fails to give me the heebeegeebees.

The place we are now in crap that should never be made, but is because Chinese slaves work cheap and we have credit cards, is a place that is beyond parody.

Spokanarama drops Tiger Woods as spokesman!

This was a very difficult decision.

According to the latest CNN headline, Accenture has opted to drop Tiger Woods as their spokesman. I always look to Accenture for the latest trends in whatever it is that they do, so we were forced to follow suit.

Sorry Tiger. Personally, I like your style and Lord knows if I had your money... But what about the children who read Spokanarama? What about the golfers who never stray, yet read Spokanarama? And the pole dancers? What about them?

Initially, I thought Accenture was some sort of denture paste with a zesty flavor, but it's actually a management consulting group. In other words, I still don't know what it is that they do.

In closing, What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Sights while pedaling home this morning...

For some reason, inflatable lawn decorations never seem right, or remotely interesting, until they are deflated. And when there's more than one or two, this rule seems more solid.

Did Santa hang this elf on the marquee of his workshop as a warning to other elves? I am not sure what this elf did to warrant this penalty. Did he not want to make toys? Maybe he wanted to be a dentist. Obviously a misfit.

Notice the plumes of smoke in the background? That's right - the entire city was on fire this morning. Well, at least that's what some folks thought yesterday - a lot. Imagine, steam coming from dryer vents, steam vents and even out of a laundromat/drycleaner/steam cleaning business.

How strange.

The river was also on fire - all day - yesterday, but we never had to respond to that. Maybe Dispatch filtered those calls out for us.

Maybe it's time for a public service announcement or something from the "news" media. I saw on the "news" this morning, that when it gets cold, water "freezes." This process actually firms water and you can see the process in lakes and ponds. So, maybe something from the media about steam being more visible when it's cold would not be so far-fetched.

Christmas Trees of Elegance - Pretty up front with the true meaning of Christmas!

This event at the Davenport Hotel has been a long-standing favorite for me and my family.

I don't think I've bought a lottery ticket in 10 years. I don't enter contests. But there's something about this event that makes me spend money like a drunken sailor on Christmas shore leave at Santa's Compound with a couple of hot elf chicks on each arm.

Sarah says the best thing about this event is that you can support the symphony without the hassle of going to the symphony. Perhaps that is a Christmas lesson in itself.



Money - the albino owl wishes everyone a Merry Christmas from this tastefully appointed tree. Looks like she has quite the nest egg.

War continues to subvert the dominant paradigm...

A trip to the dollar store, zip ties, safety wire, duct tape, coroplast signs and bungee chords - so far, a great kick off to the holiday season.

I think I have been to a dollar store maybe twice - until last week. Went to the one by Hastings on 29th - no made-in-China $5 trees. Sarah suggested the store on Ray on 14th or 15th. What a place. When you walk in, the depression envelopes you like a blanket of doom. Every third florescent light is burned out. Christmas music softly drifts - the tape player's timing is just a little off. The place is empty. Crushed boxes of trees made from the finest Chinese plastic detritus are neatly stacked. Checkers stand silent at their posts - staring blankly ahead. The perfect place to outfit the latest XtraCycle adventure. This setup is going to look great in July. The bungee chords give the tree just the right, in kilt parlance, "sway."

The Monkeylectric front wheel light is everything I thought it would be.

Last week's Fresh Abundance Delivery!

I don't know why but last week's delivery from Fresh Abundance seemed extremely picturesque.

In other news, I decided to put the Monkey Lectric Wheel lighting system on the XtraCycle. I had Sarah peddle it around tonight to see how it looked. It was amazing!

Have you ever seen the movie Killer Klowns from Outer Space? It was like that. It should cause a few car accidents and an epileptic seizure or two on my way to work. It's that good.

This and that....

Sarah and I ran the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. Ike ran with his LC X-Country pals. What a huge crowd. The Turkey Trot, as always and as the kids say, "is what it is." It's a real slow, but fun, jog - dogs connected to their masters with 50-foot leashes, triple-wide strollers and families holding hands. Yet, I think it's the closest thing to a lovefest running experience in Spokane. You can't be serious about how you are going to perform, just kick back and enjoy the show. It's a great way to start Thanksgiving Day too. Thankful for friends, family, health, clean air and the beauty of a throng of humanity. Thankful to live in Spokane!

The Food Bank does really well at this event. Which reminds me, a friend of mine volunteers at Second Harvest. He drives one of their trucks to pick up canned goods at donation sites. I went with him a week or so ago to help. It was nice to see all the food that people have dropped off at really diverse locations. At the medical marijuana place, the barrels were overflowing (you can insert your own remark here).

I had never been in the Second Harvest facility before. It is huge. It is organized. It is incredible, a beehive of precise forklift-whirling precision. And when all was said and done, it dawned on me that the food pickup we accomplished was (even though it packed the truck) not even a drop in the bucket of what the food bank does. Also, what we just did was really an inefficient way to do business - drop off a can of 69 cent peas - have truck deliver peas to warehouse. My friend told me that for every dollar you give the food bank, they can buy three dollars worth of food. This is a much better way to go. So, if you can spare a little money, why not cut a check for Second Harvest? One dollar turns into 6 pounds of food.

Had to work Friday and met some very nice people from New England, one of whom needed some help. They really liked Spokane - even when viewed from the back of an ambulance, with me jamming a needle in one of their arms. Saturday was kind of a lazy day - I only had to get up twice the night before. I have my list of things to accomplish today.

Received my MonkeyLectric lighting system yesterday. I haven't decided which bike to put it on yet.

The museum of local fauna - a fine crypto/factual mix...

Over the past few years, we have noticed that most folks have an affinity for three subjects for the art in their homes:

1. Dolphins
2. Unicorns
3. Dream catchers

Pretty much in this order. Some have unicorns and pegasuses? pegasi? One fellow had a unicorn with wings. I asked him about this. He seemed embarrassed and said, "Look, I know unicorns don't have wings and a pegasus does not have a horn. We call this one a 'unipeg.'" He then showed me his tattoo of a unicorn sparring with a pegasus. When you think about it, who would win? I am sure that someone has ran the odds.

So, over the last year or so, a museum of sorts has sprung up on our counter in the office:


A couple of months ago, two ladies wandered into the station via the open apparatus bay door. I was in the office working on reports. One of the ladies inquired, "I know it's past five-o-clock, but can we still get $50 of gasoline for free?" I was a bit perplexed. "Ma'am, you know this is a fire station, right?"

She replied that she had heard that the fire station by the Conoco was giving away free gas. I suggested that maybe what the person who told her this really meant was that the Conoco by the fire station was giving away free gasoline.

Her looked conveyed that she thought I was kind of dense - a dummy. All that changed when she saw the display on the counter. She said it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. Gasoline, shmasoline, she thought we were all pretty cool now. At least that's what she said to her friend.

Of course, there have been attempts to bridge the gap between the dolphin and unicorn with the venerable narwhal:



But no one really cares. For the most part, you're either pro-dolphin or pro-unicorn. Oh, apparently "nowledge" is not a misspelling:

NARWHAL - Sounds like a code we should all live by.